


It's Snowing

by haikyall



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, AtsuHina, Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hospital, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Sorry, M/M, SakuAtsu, Snow, hahahaha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyall/pseuds/haikyall
Summary: The snow fell from the accumulated cloud up there in the sky. It's similar to me in a way all because it fell to the ground, it fell from the clouds.It fell apart.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	It's Snowing

**Author's Note:**

> Unnoticed grammatical errors are bound to be found, please contact the author if such is found. 
> 
> I tried really hard for this one and I genuinely enjoyed making this. For those who are close to me, you may know I have never tried this many ideas in a single work. This is the first time I've tried an AU, gay story, and a sad story. I do think I didn't do such a good job but I will charge this to experience as a writer.
> 
> Thank you so much for 100 followers on Instagram! You have zero idea how happy I am, although this is quite late, please know that I try my best in all the works I work on and so it takes a lot of time for it to be finished.
> 
> I love each and everyone of you,  
> -Haikyall

It’s finally snowing. It was about time the snow fell to the ground.

________

**Five days after the present**

“It’s quite cold, isn’t it Bo-kun?”

“Yes, it is, Tsumu-chan,”

________

**Six days before the present**

“Did you regret it?” Osamu asks. I simply look at the bag of IV hanging above me. I notice the vitals monitors and see little oxygen is entering my body. Sometimes I wonder if my body was even accepting the product the oxygen concentrator is forcing in through the tube on my nose.

“I don’t. I don’t think I ever will,” I look at the Miya that was talking to me, he has a book set down on his lap, meaning he just had an intrusion of thought. He sits on a white sofa beside a white plastic bag of necessary medicines I need to intake. He has been trying to make me eat his new onigiri flavor for the past hour. As the triangular meal sits in front of me on the overbed table. The entrepreneur picks up the book on his lap, opening it to the page he left off. 

“I do hate him though,” I speak up while looking at the window. Osamu freezes. He looks at me as I start to rake my hands into my already dried up hair, I crumple up the hair in my hands as an effort to keep me sane. My hands stay there as I start to tear up, vision getting blurry.

_I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I never thought I’d hate you. But I fucking hate you, you and your perfection, the imperfections that make you perfect. I hate that you’re perfect. I hate it. I hate that I fell. I fucking fell. I hate it. I hate that I fell for you. I hate that I love you. I love you_

________

**Nine years before the present**

Sakusa walks inside the sports complex with his bag, he was just plainly walking through the halls and he can already see how much cleaning the halls need to get. He can see the dust and shivers at how much germs it may have. Although he’s disgusted with what he has seen, he continues to walk to his destination. 

He walks inside the gymnasium, to see all of his teammates either talking to each other or warming up. The outside hitter gets disgusted once again to see that the teammates that were stretching are lying down on the. dirty. floor. He pries his eyes off the sight as he is greeted by Shugo.

“Good morning, Kiyoomi-chan!”

“Good morning,” was the only response he can say through the mask he wears, keeping the contact at a minimum. He goes ahead and settles his bag down on the bleachers. Well, it’s more of him measuring at least 6 feet away from the nearest bag, conducting an inspection of the place for any dust, dirt, stains or any other potential enemies otherwise known as germs, then a through spray session of his mini Lysol can and one last inspection to see if Sakusa missed any parts and finally setting his bag down. 

As this process takes an excruciatingly long amount of time, the other members are already accustomed to Sakusa’s mannerisms and just let him do what he wants. “Wow, he really is that particular of stuff like putting his bag down,” Hinata says, resting from his center split stretching formation after a bit of guidance from Shugo and watching Sakusa reach the weirdest places on the bleachers just to spray with his Lysol can while wearing blue surgical gloves. 

“Yer should see him when he sleeps in the training camps, he goes haywire with the procedure, that bleachers process he does is kinda the shortest method he’s got” Atsumu laughs as he joins his junior in observing their teammates doing his daily rituals.

“I bet he was insulted when we were stretching on the floor,” Shugo adds as he pushes Hinata back to his previous stretching position, Hinata screams at the sudden movement and brute force his captain has laid on his back. His members look at him and chuckling at how panicked Hinata got. Well, everyone except Sakusa, he definitely heard the scream, he just didn’t pay much attention to it, mainly because it’s Hinata. 

Although Sakusa doesn’t pay any attention to the members, he has ears. He hears the conversations that go on. He wouldn’t deny the clench of his heart when he heard Atsumu remembering the rituals he does. 

_Does Atsumu actually notice this?_

The outside hitter shakes away his thoughts and continues his rituals but with more precaution. Well, it’s more like him distracting himself and having a shaky arm to hold a bottle of disinfectant spray.

“Omi-Omi! How was yer morning?” Atsumu greets the wing spiker that is walking towards the team. Sakusa’s heart may have skipped a beat at the nickname. Hinata waves lively at him, Bokuto joins in by leaning on Hinata, unfortunately, Bokuto was too heavy for the poor child and the pair nearly stumbles but was saved by Thomas. Sakusa shows an annoyed face at the sight, seeing the number of potential germs that could get in their bodies if they get injured.

“It’s worse, now that I see your face Ratsumu-chan,”

“Omi-Omi! Ya don’t haVE TO BE SO MEAN~” Atsumu says, with an offended tone, his face makes out an all scrunched up and offended face that clearly means he was faking the act. The whole group laughs at Atsumu’s expression. Sakusa just has a scowl on his face as a reply to Atsumu’s retort.

_You just had to act that way huh?_

_________

**Six days before the present**

“Sakusa-san, calm down, your blood pressu-“ Osamu rushes to me, having a mental breakdown. The concerned Miya tries to pry my hands off my head, an attempt to put me back I swat his arms away, tears falling down my itchy eyes from having no sleep. 

“LIKE I GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT MY FUCKED UP CORPSE, MIYA!” The very person who’s been trying to help me takes a step back.

“ALL HE DOES IS JUST—“

I take a deep breath and put my hands down. I simply stare at the remnant of what presumes to be my hands. 

“Sorry, Osamu-san, it just—“

“It hurts, does it?” Osamu simply settles down on the white chair beside me, he finally takes the onigiri meal away from my sickly presence and places it in the mini-fridge the hospital room had. He then reaches for the hand sanitizer on the top of the refrigerator and presses the top to squeeze some product out and slather onto his hands. I simply nod.

_________

**Eight & a half years before present**

The boys have a lot of fangirls, that was a given fact, a fact that Sakusa should be used to, but he never does get used to it. He was always a private person, and he really hates crowds, to begin with.

“Tsum-Tsum, Omi-chan hATES CROWDSSS,” Bokuto whisper-shouts to his setter as he notices his teammate get a bit uncomfortable, and yet again has another scowl on his face because of the crowd as they try to interview and ask the team for autographs and pictures. Atsumu might be the only person that actually gets close enough to the wing spiker without the boy social distancing away. Atsumu smiles, knowing what he has to do.

He simply grabs Kiyoomi by the wrist and leads him away from the crowd and brings him to the nearest bathroom. The scowl on the outside hitter’s face was replaced with disgust and shock“I know, it was unhygienic of me to hold yer wrist like that but that’s why I brought ya to the restroom, also how else were we supposed to escape the crowd?”

Sakusa gives a look of disgust around the room, seeing how unclean it was despite it being a washroom. “Thank you, Tsumu-chan,” He quietly says, reaching for the faucet to wash his arm Atsumu had contact with and maybe disinfect his whole body. Atsumu just leans at the wall with his arms crossed as he waits for Sakusa to finish his usual routine.

“Omi-Omi,” The setter calls out.

“What?”

“What do you think of Shoyou?” Sakusa’s hand freeze under the running water. His thoughts go on haywire of events, he tried to play it cool by reaching out for the hand soap the washroom had.

“What do you mean?” Atsumu simply chuckles, he walks nearer to the flustered wing spiker.

“What’s your opinion on Shoyou? Is he a good player? A good friend? A potential enemy?” Atsumu says as he fixes his hair by checking the mirror. The wing spiker is bewildered, they have never talked about their teammates before, why talk about them now? When there’s a tournament in at least thirty minutes? Sakusa continues to spread the foamy yet sanitized solution on his hands.

“He’s a good player, he analyses the court from afar even when he’s not in the court. He knows when and where to place his feet. He doesn’t make any unnecessary movements, he doesn’t freak out when the ball is targeted on his face, still a squealing pig tho,” Atsumu laughs at the last statement but it is true. Hinata improved greatly from the Nationals where they last met.

“His personality never changed though” Sakusa adds, the setter he was talking to simply keeps a small smile. Sakusa looks at the smile, there was something different with the smile Atsumu has, the wing spiker couldn’t lay a finger on what made it different from the other smiles the setter had. By this time, Sakusa has already washed off the soap on his hands and grabs his handkerchief to wipe off the excess water. 

“All done?” Atsumu asks and his friend nods. They head out the washroom. All of a sudden, Sakusa’s head started to ache in pain from the back of his head to the front of the forehead, it worsens as he remembers Atsumu’s face when they talked about the small teammate they had. He hated these kinds of headaches, he’s been getting them very often nowadays. He raises his left hand to ease out the source of the pain, the back of his head. Atsumu notices the loss of comfort his wing spiker had. 

“You, okay, Omi-Omi?” 

“Fine,” Sakusa says and Atsumu smiles softly.

_You have a nice smile Tsumu-chan_

_________

**Six days before the present**

“Of course it hurts, I’m sick, Osamu-san,” I state the obvious and look at the ceiling of the room, it's filled with webs.

_Gross. And I thought this was a hospital._

I look at the door, waiting for even a stop-by from him. Even if he just came to give his brother something he forgot. Osamu notices this and simply sighs.

“I’m so-“ Osamu starts but I cut him off.

“You know I hate pity, right?” Osamu nods at my saying. He looks at the window of my room before asking me another question.

“Are you happy?” I simply shrug on his inquiry.

“Depends,” I say coldly.

________

** 8 years before present **

“OMI-CHANNN!” Bokuto waves from afar, Sakusa was mentally scolding himself at waking up too early at the point he has to go to the sports complex with the outside hitter chasing him right now. He finally catches up and slows down his pace.

“Good morning Bo-kun,” Sakusa states through the face mask as they continue their journey. Bokuto simply stares at him, he notices something different with the wing spiker. 

“Omi-chan, why do you look like you haven’t slept?” Bokuto asks with a concerned face.

“That’s because I haven’t,” Sakusa replies without looking at him. He hasn’t been getting any sleep ever since that little bathroom conversation he and Atsumu had. For some reason, his heart ached, he doesn’t understand why. All they did was talk about Hinata and suddenly his whole mood worsens. Bokuto nods and like a switch, he perks up and gets excited.

“I’ve been slipping some sleeping pills for Akaashi since he hasn’t been sleeping because of his work, do you want me to get you some too, Omi-chan?”

“No thanks, Bo-kun,” The wing spiker refuses the rather tempting offer, although he can ask Bokuto to buy some, he can always buy them himself. Fewer germs but more contact. It disgusts him, but he has to find a way to even get a 6-hour sleep rather than having 2-hour naps.

“If you say so, Omi-chan~” Bokuto simply shrugs and continues walking. And again, like a switch, he perks up. Sakusa wonders if this guy was a switch in his past life since he has the weirdest and shortest mood swings.

“Omi-chan, Don’t you think something is up with Tsum-Tsum?” Bokuto starts. Sakusa’s eyes widen, so he wasn’t the only one getting weirded out by Atsumu’s recent actions?

“He’s always clinging to Sho-chan for some reason, and he gets really sad and angry when Sho-chan talks to someone that isn’t him, especially at games, he’s always… what’s that word… Keiji keeps using it… flushed? flashter? fLUSTERED. IT'S DEFINITELY FLUSTERED. it’s like… likE HE’S IN LOVE RIGHT? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~” Bokuto dies out of laughter from the insane theory he thought of. Meanwhile, Sakusa’s world freezes, everything was suddenly a shade darker, the sky was suddenly gloomier, everything seemed to be in slow motion. All he can hear is Bokuto’s words ringing repeatedly over his ears.

**_“He’s in love,” … with Shoyo._ **

_He can’t be… right?_

_Tsumu-chan wouldn’t be…_

His stomach starts to churn at how he couldn’t notice that and how a person as bright as Bokuto was able to think of that. But then again, it is Bokuto, he could be half right and wrong. This idea of his might just drive him crazy and pose a new way of teasing the setter. 

“Omi-chan, are you okay?” Bokuto asks, his happy demeanor once again gone, replaces with a sad Bokuto, evident on how his hair droops down slightly. Sakusa looks over to him.

“That’s cute, he’s happy,” was all he said. It took every liberty Sakusa had left, every liberty, just to say that phrase. 

**_He’s happy_ **

_At least he’s happy,_

They continue to walk down the sidewalk as they approach the destination, Bokuto keeps blabbing on how owls have a demonic way of turning their heads and how he is part-owl. But Sakusa couldn’t help but have an itchy feeling in his chest, he tried scratching the certain place that seems to be the origin of the itch but he then realizes that the itch is on the inside. He decides to cough out the itch. The cough seems to do the trick but it leaves Bokuto in a state of shock. Did the germaphobe guy just cough?

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OMI-CHAN, ARE YOU OKAY? DON’T DIE!! GOD, ARE YOU OKAY? WE STILL HAVE TO BEAT THE ADLERS, OMI-CHAAANN~~”

________

**Six days before present**

“Are you okay with it?” Osamu softly smiles, for a second I thought it was his brother since they were so alike, well, they are twins for a reason.

“I have to be, it’s not like I have a damn choice ‘Samu-chan,” I clench my hands into fists as I silently process my own words.

_I have to be…_ I thought to myself as Osamu then gets up as if he has heard his confirmation to do something, he then packs his things and starts to leave.

“I’m gonna take my leave now, but Sakusa-san,” I turn to him to see he is still at the doorway, hand on the door frame, looking straight into my eyes. 

“You don’t need to be okay with it,” He then walks through the doorway, closing the door behind him and leaves.

________

**Seven years before the present**

The team was eating lunch paid by their Coach. Yes, Sakusa sprayed the whole table and floor before the whole team sat down. He didn’t care if he got himself some weird looks from the vendors themselves since he knew how to throw those looks back for the workers to go back to what they were doing.

The Coach merely observes the movements of his players, how each of them has a different intake of food and manner on how to ingest it. He notices Hinata and his mannerism of ordering a bowl of one cup of rice yet has a content of two to three cups of rice. He then ponders whether his players were enjoying youth as he did when he was their age. How he remembers not being able to juggle life and volleyball well, resulting in a future where he has difficulty finding a partner.

“I hope you are eating well,” The Coach starts, the whole team looks onto him as if he was an alien and started nodding, they are fully aware that their mouths are full and can’t talk so they resort to gestures to convey their answer.

“But, as much as we have to work hard to win against the Adlers, I hope that your personal lives aren’t left behind,” As the father-like figure says this, he hears a series of coughs from different members while Sakusa looks at them with a scrunched up face of disgust, they are being unhygienic. Ah, the uneasy coughing, only done by people who find the topic abrupt and disturbing. 

“Ough ough, I think we’re all—ough— fine with our personal —ough— lives, Coach,” Shugo says, trying to cover for the group as they choke on their food from the sudden topic the Coach started. The Coach smiles.

“I just don’t want you boys to miss out on your youth, one moment you’re in the court, blink once and you’re as old as me,” He chuckles as he reminisces what it was like being a player and not a watcher. By this time, all the boys have calmed down. 

“Ahh~ Coach is always so concerned with us~~” Atsumu teases, earning a chuckle from the group including the coach himself. The elder looks on onto his setter. He has found a target.

“Atsumu-san, do you like someone, anyone in particular? You are popular with the ladies you know,” Atsumu stopped laughing almost immediately and starts to ramble a lot of words, he’s making it obvious, extremely obvious. It would be stupid of the person he liked if they didn’t notice it right? rIGHT? But it is Hinata, and that boy can be quite dense especially when it comes to love. The small boy just kept on eating as his life depended on it.

“W-what? N-no I do-on’t! I just f-e-el uhhh, uhh atTRACTED YES, THAT WORD. I FEEL ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE,”

“That’s the same thing ’Tsumu-san,” Shugo giggles as he takes a mouthful of rice and grilled meat into his mouth, noticing the pink color of Atsumu’s flushed cheeks. Atsumu slams his chopsticks down in defiance. 

“It is nOT THE SAME THING, ATTRACTION IS WHEN YOU THINK THE PERSON YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT IS CUTE AND ALL AND THAT YOU WANNA HANG OUT WITH THEM. BEING IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON IS WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO BE PART OF YOUR FUTURE AS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!!!” Sakusa’s eyes shift from his food to Atsumu, who in turn is having a mental breakdown. 

_So that’s what you think of love huh?_ It then starts to hit him

**_‘That’s how you think about him?’_ **

“Atsumu-san, this might be the only time you’re as loud as or maybe a bit more than Bokuto-san,” Thomas says, nudging to the silver-haired boy who is currently having an eating contest with Hinata.

“I’m just sayin’ from experience, ya know?” Atsumu calms down and takes a bite out of a tonkatsu slice.

“Man, I wish I could say that line ‘saying from experience’” Shion says as he displays his hands on the air as he says the specific words.

“Habing exe-wes iS NOT pffFUN AT ALL YA KNOOW?” Atsumu retorts with food still in his mouth.

The same itch from that day with Bokuto comes back to the body of Sakusa, this time, he holds the cough in.

________

**Four days before the present**

“Is it worth it?” Suna asks me, as I try to write out the words I wanted to say. I can no longer speak properly due to the symptoms worsening their conditions. It fucking sucks, honestly.

_“No, yes, I don’t know honestly,”_ I write, Suna reads it with his green and narrowed eyes. The middle blocker takes a walk around the room, he notices the center table with a white vase, a single lily flower inside it. He takes out the flower and proceeds with the interrogation.

“Why is it worth it?” It took me a long while to answer the question Suna popped in, mainly because I didn’t want to say why it felt like it was worth it. I didn’t want to accept it.

_“Asshole had the biggest smile when they got married, he deserves it”_ Suna laughs at my response although it was the truth. Atsumu had the biggest smile, you didn’t need to go near the altar to see it. I, too, was at the altar but as Atsumu’s best man along with Bokuto. Suna then calms down to ask me one last question. 

“Why is it not?”

_“Because I wanted him for myself,”_

________

** Seven years & ten months before the present **

“Omi-san!!” Hinata comes to Sakusa, the wing spiker gets a sudden fear that Atsumu might murder him but he disregards the thought. He looks at the jumping boy as he takes a sip from his freshly-sanitized water bottle.

“Yes?”

“What’s Tsum-Tsum’s favorite food?” When Hinata asked this, Sakusa’s heart sank. He didn’t think Hinata would have a conversation about what Atsumu likes and what he doesn’t like. He felt a pang on his chest as he converses with his fellow wing spiker.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re one of his closest friends in the team,” The small teammate states. The germaphobe then tries to lessen the pain in his chest as he hits his chest with a fist. Unfortunately, the pain in Sakusa’s chest seems to only increase even when he went physical on himself.

“Shouldn’t you be the one to know that?” Sakusa simply says as he sprays the same spot where he got his water bottle with his trusty Lysol spray. 

“Fine, Omi-kun, I’ll just find another way, it’s not like I have a new and unused Lysol bottle that could make you say what I want~, oh, I’m wearing gloves as well~~” Hinata sing-songs in a taunting manner. Sakusa furrows his brows as he hears the tempting offer. He looks towards the smirking tangerine who was currently wearing medical gloves and a new, sealed Lysol disinfectant bottle.

“Fatty tuna,” The wing spiker quietly says, Hinata smiles brightly and gives Sakusa the new disinfectant bottle. 

“Thank you, Omi-kun~” Hinata runs back to Atsumu and Bokuto. Bokuto goes on about some topic about his best friend which can be heard from a mile away. Atsumu, on the other hand, was giving staring with daggers from his hazel brown eyes towards Sakusa. His gaze only changed when he focused on the running ginger-head, eyes seemed to soften. Sakusa looks again at the newly bought spray. The familiar pain in his face, the itchiness from his eyes from lack of sleep, his headache, and now a new symptom, stomach ache started showing up to him all at once.

_Don’t look at me like that, you filthy bastard._

________

**Four days before present**

“He’s an asshole,” Suna says under his breath. I chuckle and quickly shut myself up since laughing too much worsens my condition.

“When did it start?” Suna asks,

… I pick up the pen to write on the pad paper on my overbed table.

**_“7 years ago,”_ **

.

.

.

.

.

.

Laughter. Pain.

Laughter was all I saw, all I remembered. The hurt on my face when I saw the set-up Atsumu was going for. I was aware of the confession, I didn’t know I had to participate in it. Atsumu was wearing a black sweatshirt and a light blue denim jacket, and brown pants while holding some sunflowers. I see Bokuto waving at me while holding a banner. I look at the smiling Atsumu that was talking to his brother. 

“Bo-san,” I greet the owl-like guy.

“You’re in charge of holding the banner with me, you brought your gloves right?” Bokuto smiles as he gives me the other corner of the white banner. I fish out a new pair of gloves from my neatly organized and sanitized bag. 

“Do I need to be here?” I ask through the mask, still haven’t grabbed the other corner of the banner Bokuto was giving me. Bokuto frowns at my question and starts to pout.

“buT OF COURSE OMI-CHAN~~ OSAMU-SAN IS DOING THE GUARDING SO NO ONE SEES TSUM-TSUM GET REJECTED! AND HE CAN’T TRUST NO ONE ELSE, ITS JUST YOU, AND ME, OMI-CHAN~ ISN’T THAT NICE OF HIM??” Bokuto spits out, goddamit, the more I stay here the more my heart sinks, the itchier my chest becomes. I have to hold it in, especially when I’m with Bokuto, he’ll ruin it for Atsumu. 

_He’ll hate me forever._

I hold the banner after I put on my gloves in the most sterile manner I can. I walk away from Bokuto to extend the banner to its full length. The banner had lines handpainted in paints of different colors, along with an incomplete pick-up line about sunflowers written in white paint; **‘I’ll be the sunflower to your sun’.**

Hinata, blindfolded, comes in with Shugo behind him, hands on his shoulders. Shugo tries to keep Hinata since he is blindfolded by making sure he smiles and laughs but not too much that he rolls on the floor, laughing.

“Shugo-senpai~, where are is this place?” Hinata giggles, Shugo simply smiles and whispers,

“You’ll see,” Those two simple words send a visible shiver down Hinata’s spine. As he just follows Shugo’s lead. They stop at a distance from us, a distance long enough for Hinata to see the full message of the banner. Atsumu is hiding behind the banner while waiting for Shugo to take off the blindfold.

Hinata’s blindfold is taken away, his vision is still a bit blurred since eyes needed a bit of time to adjust to the lighting as the sun was shining down on them. Once the tangerine’s eyes were alright, Hinata’s smile fades away and is replaced with shock and is dead silent for a couple of minutes. “uhhh, Shugo-senpai, what’s going on?” Hinata speaks up after minutes of mesmerizing and processing of the view in front of him, he looks up to Shugo who just pointed back at the banner. The small opposite hitter looks again at the banner but turns out to be more shocked to see Atsumu—now standing in front of the banner— holding a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Hello, Sho-chan~” Atsumu simply greets, his other hand in his denim jacket’s pocket.

“Tsum-Tsum? What’s going on?” The tangerine asks, still not understanding the mess in front of him. These are the times where I mentally facepalm myself at the stupidity of my teammates. Atsumu looks down and lets out a shaky breath. He then looks at Hinata with the most caring face he has ever made in my entire life of knowing him.

“I liked you for a while now, I know that it may come off as a p-prank since I say it a lot, but I mean it this time. I like you, Shoyou-chan. Instead of getting you flowers, I-I got you sunflowers cuz you’re like the sun to me. So close yet so far away. And s-sunflowers, they follow the sun’s light from east to west. So, I wanna be your sunflower, a flower that notices you from afar. I D-DONT MEAN IT IN A CREEPY WAY YOU KNOW, I-ITS JUST, if and m-most probably you wouldn’t like me back, I will always be there for you, to support you, watching you from afar as you succeed in life and be happy for you. And that I’ll always wait for you.” 

Hinata puts a hand over his mouth to close it, his other arm to support the hand to support the hand covering his agape mouth. He is still in shock about what he has just heard.

“God, it stILL SOUNDS WRONG, ARRRGHHH, HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO LIKE ME NOW???,” Atsumu slaps himself with the hand hiding in his jacket’s pocket. Hinata laughs at the scene unfolding before him as it was funny to look at.

The setter finally calms himself down and looks at Hinata. “Please just reject me already, I swear it won't affect our frien-“

“I like you too, Tsum-Tsum,” Hinata cuts off his fated soulmate with that one phrase and Atsumu runs and picks up the small human tangerine to hug. Hinata laughs into the hug as he snuggles on Atsumu’s neck. 

“Oh, thank god,” Atsumu sighs out as he puts the human tangerine down. They both stare at each other and laugh. The rest of the Black Jackals team that was on guard with Osamu start to woo and cheer for the newly formed couple. I merely clap my hands to congratulate them. Seeing the scene in front of me hurt, I didn’t know why. The pain came from everywhere, not just from the chest but my whole body started to burst out in pain. It wasn’t painful, it was more of an uneasy feeling, something that didn’t rest right within me, then the itchiness of my chest came back, and the headache started to join in the bandwagon, then the stomach aches and then the muscle pain, the pain from my eyes because of insomnia, but I didn’t mind it. He was happy and all I knew, is that there was laughter.

**Laughter.**

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.

It was the next day and it was just me preparing pancakes for breakfast in my kitchen. my body’s condition wasn’t getting any better. The images of yesterday’s events still replayed in my head. The trust, the speech, the hug. All of it felt wrong, it felt oh so so wrong— AACK! My chest started to have a burning sensation, I dropped the spatula I was holding to place my hands on the center of my chest. It was a pain I have never experienced. It was literally like my heart was about to get ripped out of my chest. Painful enough for me to start leaking tears out of my eyes and unconsciously cough. As I realized what was happening to me, I place my right hand over my mouth to stop the contamination of my room, my left hand still at my chest. 

I start to feel like I’m being choked, the more I coughed, the more relieving it felt. My tongue begins to feel something small yet smooth, it tasted bitter. My brain is a bit surprised as to what I was sensing in my mouth. I never ate anything this smooth or this bitter. My hand starts to reach out to the content of my mouth, I pull it out to see a white petal along with some small red flower buds. The heart in me that felt like it was being pulled out, suddenly felt like it was plucked out. I looked at the petal-like it was the last thing I wanted to see that day. I didn’t attend training then. Pain was the last thing I felt.

**Pain.**

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**Forty-two hours before the present**

“Why was it so painful?”

I wrote the phrase with shaky hands. Suna just sighs and looks at my vitals monitor. My vitals keeps on dropping steadily

“You haven’t admitted it to yourself, huh?”

_What?_

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“Sakusa-san,” The doctor says from the table in front of me as I stare at the results of my testing. I have just received the results where it tells how badly my hanahaki disease is, fortunately, the infection is still small and starting.

“Sakusa-san, although your case is still mild compared to others, we will already offer you our options, which are two; operation and the old-fashioned confession, the confession is a 50/50 chance, since we don’t really know what your significant other feels about you and we may risk infecting the person themselves with it. Operation although pricey, it is a 100% success rate it’s just that—”

“I’ll lose all memories with them,” I cut him off as I rub my head with frustration. I look at the doctor and he gives me a small, sympathetic smile.

“Do you want to go for the operational option? You may not choose it but I strongly suggest going for it,”

“I can’t do that, Doctor,” I simply say.

“Why so? Is it because you don’t want to forget him?” The doctor inquires as he looks through a metal drawer and searching through some medical files.

“Yes… and my work involves being in a team with him, it would be weird that I don’t know him after all the things we’ve been through,” I explain in a soft voice, even now, two weeks after my first petal has been coughed out, I still can’t believe this is happening to me. The doctor nods.

“I’ll try confessing,” I finally say, standing up and grabbing my sanitization bag beside me. The doctor just smiles and leads me to the exit of his office hich is essentially the same door as the entrance.

“I will respect your decision but please don’t forget the other option is still available for you to choose,”

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_What did he mean by that?_ Suna senses my confusion as he stands up to look at the view of my window.

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“You haven’t admitted what you feel towards Tsumu-chan,” Suna looks at me with his narrow eyes. Hearing that one sentence causes me to start coughing. The coughing starts to get a little worse the more I cough. Suna comes to my aid and rubs my back to try to soothe the itchy feeling in my chest but it just won’t stop. I cover my mouth with my right hand to try to contain the petals flowing out. I look at my hand to see that the color of the petals has gone from white to red from top to the bottom. Every single petal is covered with a deep and rich color of red, not much of a cherry red, more like a burgundy red.

“Osamu-chan told me that the petals used to be white…” Suna states as I wrap the petals in paper before crumpling it up and giving it to the visitor and throwing it at the trash can. I grabbed my pen once again to write an answer to his inquiry.

_“It’s a sign of a worsening condition,”_

“Since when was this?”

_“4 years ago.”_

________

**Four years before the present**

“There better be—“ Sakusa grumbles as he approaches the park, he was told by Shugo to get some surgical gloves that were distributed by the government at the park. And, Sakusa may be a smart man but is a sucker for anything sanitary, so he went almost immediately after receiving the message. But then he sees the whole team, he then figures everything out in his head.

_Ratsumu is trying to do some sappy shit again, and he needs help._

“Omi-Omi!!” The setter calls out to his friend arriving in the park. Kiyoomi, on the other hand, has grown accustomed to hating going to the park because of well, the confession, so in turn, he just groans when he sees Atsumu the Rat holding a box of oranges. 

“What do I do this time?”

“I need you to hold one of this.” Atsumu smiles as he tilts his head downwards, as a way of pointing to the oranges, Sakusa gives him a face of confusion and disgust because of the germs of what he thinks he has to do.

“One of the oranges…?” 

“ye—“ Sakusa cuts him off with a scowl on his face. 

“no, it's fucking gross. The germs on that thing is just… blegh,” Atsumu huffs out the air out of his mouth in response. He then puts down the box and puts on sterilized gloves, a mask, and a Lysol can. The rat then proceeds to grab one of the oranges from the box and sprays on the disinfectant. Sakusa is astonished by how prepared Atsumu was for the event that he says no. Atsumu knew his outside hitter that well. Sakusa brings out a pair of gloves from his bag and starts his preparations on sanitizing himself.

“Here,” The setter then gives the disinfected fruit to Sakusa. Sakusa —kinda satisfied with the effort Atsumu gave— holds the orange with his middle finger and thumb. 

“Give it to Sho-chan, and give a little hint on what’s happening. Alright, Omi-Omi?” Atsumu orders. Sakusa merely nods, still in slight disgust with the object he is holding. Bokuto then runs towards us, also holding an orange but his had a derpy face with a tongue out drawn by a marker. Sakusa felt the second-hand suffering the orange of Bokuto was having.

“OMI-KUNN~~ YOU’RE HEREEEE~” Bokuto shouts even when we're literally a meter apart, Akaashi— who was following the noisier owl, also holding an orange but with no drawings— simply gave Sakusa an apologetic look. Bokuto shows off his orange as if it was his newest baby… well, that’s because it is his newest baby.

As more people gather around the park, Sakusa realizes that all of the people here are significant people in the lives of Hinata and Atsumu minus their parents. The old members of Karasuno, that Nekoma guy with his pudding-head friend, some of the rivals of Karasuno back then, Ushijima and Tendou, Hoshiumi, the team themselves, the best friends from Aoba Johsai, the old Inarizaki team Hinata’s childhood friends. The whole team was there all of them had an orange in hand, ready to give it to Hinata. Sakusa wonders whether this was an insult or a compliment to the small tangerine.

Osamu then gets a notification from his sweatshirt pocket, he reaches for his phone and shows it to Atsumu. The setter almost immediately becomes frantic and nervous. He then tells his brother something, the twins start to gather the people in the park, they start to arrange them in a single line, Sakusa assumes the arrangement is on how close the people are to the couple with the whole Black Jackals team at the back with Atsumu being the last person in the line.

Yachi appears with her hand gripping Hinata’s wrist, literally dragging him. Hinata has a bored face as the girl is dragging him around. His face then changed from bored and uninterested to slightly worried and nervous as he sees the conga line of people with oranges in their hands.

“What the—“ Hinata’s curiosity was then cut off by Yachi’s pull on his arm, urging him to walk faster.

“Hinata-san, c’mon!” Yachi giggles and she slows down to see Aone in front of the line. Yachi and the tall middle blocker waits for Hinata to catch his breath, and as he does calm down, Aone bows and simply gives the orange. Hinata inspects the orange as if it was a foreign thing and he has never seen the fruit in his entire life or is he associated with it.

The next in line was Konagane, Tendou, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the old Nekoma team with Kenma, his sponsor at the back, the Karasuno team and the managers and coaches with Kageyama at the back, Ushijima, the childhood friends, Akaashi, Osamu, and finally the Black Jackals team. Each person Hinata talked to, had something to say, whether it was encouraging or a hint about what was about to happen, the more people that appeared before him, the more overwhelmed he felt. Everyone came to say these things to him. 

What exactly is going on?

It was finally Bokuto’s turn, 

“heY, HEY, HEY, SHO-CHAN~ MEET MR. ORANGE, TAKE CARE OF HIM OKAY? YOU WILL BE A GREAT PARENT~~” those were the only words Bokuto gave out, Sakusa was kinda taken back at the number of words Bokuto gave out, maybe it’s because he got tired of waiting since it was a genuinely long line. It was then Sakusa’s turn. He had been holding the orange with his middle finger and thumb the whole time. His hand may or may not have gotten a cramp because of holding it in at the same position for a long time, he blames it on Atsumu and his overreacting ass.

“Omi-kun? You’re here too?”

“I was technically dragged here because someone said the park had someone that was giving out surgical gloves from the government” Kiyoomi explains while glaring at their captain who was just in the crowd laughing as he was successfully drawn out the hermit crab from his shell which was Sakusa and his room. Hinata giggled at the statement his teammate just made and looking at Hinata’s soft and glistening eyes just made Sakusa feel a bit mushy.

_Atsumu really deserves you,_

The germaphobe originally had nothing to say to the tangerine but then he remembered the light in Atsumu’s eyes, and now he sees the light in Hinata’s eyes. He saw hope and excitement. His chest starts to burn as he observes the actions of his teammate. He remembered the same expression whenever Hinata gets to spike a ball. It then hit Sakusa in his brain that he needs to say something. Anything, just something. His symptoms start to show again, but this time everything was ten times worse. The headaches, the chest pain, the stomach pain suddenly start to give out their versions of cries, his legs are suddenly wobbly and can barely keep his stance.

_Fuck. I need to say something, quick._

“Keep being his sun,” was all he said, and he said it rather quickly, as he feels like the petals were starting to erupt on his mouth. He then disgustingly gives the orange, with all of his fingers pointing toward the sky, and arm almost immediately in front of Hinata’s face, Kiyoomi tries to make sure his arms aren’t shaking that badly to see that he isn’t physically okay. The small boy in front of him then says a word of gratitude and takes the orange from Sakusa’s delicate hands.

He then tries to walk away, he then stands beside Osamu and Suna who are already sensing that something was wrong. He tries to keep his balance on standing as his legs feel like they were about to give up and snap into two separate bones. His gloved hands reach out to a tree to which he holds to keep his balance.

_I can’t mess this up for Atsumu._

Atsumu, who is holding a bouquet of orange Ambrosia flowers completely unaware that one of his teammates might just die, quite literally, nervously stands in front of Hinata. His significant other shakes their head in disbelief.

“I kinda got a feeling you had something to do with this,” Hinata states the obvious, and Atsumu chuckles.

“Well uhh did ya like yer orange ball delivery?” The rat teases, making the smaller boy laugh a bit.

“I think, I would like my delivery in a single box, and from you,” Hinata continues the statement, and after a few moments of silence the couple bursts, out laughing.

_It was an inside joke they have._

“I also have an orange, but it's a squishy o—“

“What the flowering hell, Tsu—,” 

“it wAS CUTE AND IT REMINDED ME OF YOU OKAY SO SHH AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY,” Atsumu butts in. Hinata tries to stop his giggles by slapping his cheeks making the two laugh at each other even more.

“QUIT IT ALREADY SHO-CHAN~, I MIGHT FORGET WHAT TO SAY” Hinata covers his mouth to stop himself from laughing, and Atsumu also tries to calm down and when they finally do, Atsumu starts to smile and takes in a deep breathe.

“Shoyou, for the past 3 years of my life, it has been the best of the best, actually it's been the best since I met you at Nationals that day. I just want you to know that you were the best thing that happened to me besides volleyball and I love you with all my heart.”

Sakusa’s heart begins to ache once again, the similar ache he gets whenever he needs to cough, he tries to stifle the noise as to not ruin the atmosphere Atsumu has tried so desperately to create but his body can’t help it, he unconsciously makes a cough and Osamu pats his back to console him. Fortunately enough, he was not so close to the couple that the cough was heard, although it was heard by the people surrounding him.

“Please continue to be my Ambrosia, my eternal love. The love that lasts forever and a day after. Shoyou…” Atsumu gets down on one knee, and Shoyou suddenly doesn’t understand what is going on between them. Everyone surrounding them starts to gush in excitement at the turn of events yet Sakusa barely holding on with his other hand on his mouth while his right hand is gripping the tree bark with all of its strength, trying to contain the coughs that are slowing crawling upwards his throat. 

“I wanna be your Ambrosia too, Hinata Shoyou. Will you marry me?” Atsumu brings out a velvet box, he opens the case to see a silver ring with a shiny little rock sitting on top of it. Hinata’s eyes pop out of their eye sockets since a ring like that costs a fortune.

A moment of silence seeps into the air as Hinata just looks at the ring with the biggest eyes he has ever pulled off. He looks at Atsumu and the boy has the most glistening and hopeful eyes, and he had a small smile. A smile that meant he will respect any decision that comes out of Hinata’s mouth.

“Yes, Tsum-Tsum,”

Atsumu drops the caring facade with a sigh and everyone cheers in glee. The setter slides the ring into Hinata’s left ring finger. Hinata then shows the ring to everyone for the pictures and Atsumu quickly pecks his forehead.

**“God, I love you,”**

**“I love you too, Tsum-Tsum,”**

Sakusa turns away, seeing the couple be so… happy… be something he and Atsumu could never be, broke him more. Forget about his legs snapping into bones, he tried to walk away but then his legs have failed him. He starts to fall but is then smoothly assisted by Osamu. Unlike his lovestruck twin, he senses what was wrong with Kiyoomi and aids to him as he tries to walk away from the scene once again unfolding before him. Osamu then reaches for the gloves inside Kiyoomi’s bag and wears them for the wing spiker to know that the other Miya means no harm and is trying to help. 

“You have it, that disease…” Osamu mumbles only loud enough for the two to hear and Sakusa only has the strength to nod. Osamu didn’t need to see the petals that weren’t coming out and seems to understand which person in front of him they were talking about. Sakusa looks at the Miya that was gripping his arms tightly, it was to ensure he wasn’t going to fall. The wing spiker scrutinizes the older Miya’s features, the same jawline, height, eyes, everything, the only difference was that, Osamu has a different gaze and that he has black hair which was quite contrary to his younger duplicate’s blond hair.

“You can’t tell him,” He croaks out, he stifles in a cough, and almost immediately, he feels the petals clogging up his throat. The onigiri owner didn’t believe what he just heard and looks at the sickly germaphobe.

“Why no—“

“Look, he’s happy. I don’t want to burden him, he doesn’t look at me that way,” Sakusa points out as they see Hinata in Atsumu’s arms smiling happily with some tears falling on Hinata’s cheeks. Osamu nods and escorts Sakusa back to his place.

Sakusa reaches home with tears brimming into his eyes. He takes off the mask and leans on his door and crouches down to the floor, he finally coughs out the petals he tried so hard to hold in. He just kept on crying and coughing. Crying and coughing. Crying and coughing, until it hurt, it hurt him so much he was hitting his chest to make the coughing stop, he couldn’t see because of the tears spewing out of his eyes, he couldn’t hear any other noise besides from the coughing, the whimpers, and thudding of his chest. His heart is racing, his feet started to fidget and tap on the wooden floor. 

He kept coughing until there was a pool of petals ranging from white to pink to red colors surrounding him. The only thing he can’t sanitize.

________

**Twenty-four hours before the present**

“Omi-kun! ITS ME BOKUTO!! DO YOU REMEMBER MEEE~” Bokuto wakes the sleeping corpse in the room and waves meekly he can barely raise his hand from how weak he already is.

“Of course he remembers you, Bokuto-san, hello Sakusa-san, we brought you some fruits, already sanitized, don’t worry,” Akaashi greets Sakusa by waving a bag of fruits at his head level. Sakusa simply nods and weakly points at the center table of his room. 

“You can’t speak anymore, can you?” Bokuto innocently pokes around meanwhile Akaashi keeps on apologizing to Sakusa, remembering that he is again, a germaphobe. He tries to make sure Bokuto stays still and doesn’t break any medical equipment.

“How’s life, Omi-kun?” Bokuto says as he finally sits down on the chair with Akaashi on full guard on him after a long twenty minutes of calming him down by Akaashi. Sakusa just sighs in reply and wonders if the exhausted Akaashi ever wanted to whack Bokuto at the back of his head with a bat or wish he could break his kneecaps to stop him from poking around whenever he gets into a new place.

Akaashi looks over to Sakusa’s overbed table to see that Sakusa could barely hold a pen right.

“Sakusa-san, you don’t need to answer if you’re too—“ 

Sakusa slams the pen down on the table loud enough for Akaashi to stop what he was trying to say. “Sorry, Sakusa-san, it’s just… we can see you suffering.” Akaashi plainly explains. Although Sakusa hated these kinds of conversations, he lets it slide. It was evident on his face and body and well, being the one in the hospital bed that he was, in fact, suffering. His legs can’t move any longer, he can’t eat food that wasn’t liquified, his chest was always itchy but it was always reduced by a compressor machine beside his bed, his head always had occasional headaches, and he basically can’t breathe without a ventilator machine.

“Omi-kun, how did you end up in this contraption?” Bokuto asks, looking at the number of machines and tubes attached to his body. The owl had only found out about Sakusa’s illness and decided to visit.

Sakusa gathers up the strength to pick up the pen

“months” was the only thing he managed to write shakily, it was barely understandable but Akaashi had experience with other editors with more horrid handwriting than Sakusa. Bokuto then quietly tugs on Akaashi’s vest, he wants to know what Sakusa wrote. Akaashi simply looks at the sickly patient and back at the paper.

“he wrote ‘months’, Bo-kun,”

________

**Six months before the present**

White.

Everything was white.

The church, the set-up, the grooms themselves. Even I was in a white suit, the bells were ringing. The rings were worn. The vows were said. The rope was removed. The veil on the couple’s heads was removed. 

“To those that object the unification of this couple, speak now or forever hold your peace,”

I stay silent

I look at Hinata and Atsumu, they were having the biggest grins of their lives. I give out a small smile.

_Be his sun, for me_

It was finally the moment, the moment that hurt. The moment everyone was waiting for. The rite of marriage;

“Do you, Miya Atsumu, take Hinata Shoyou, as your spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do, Shoyou,” Atsumu smiles, holding Hinata’s hand tighter.

“Do you, Hinata Shoyou, take Miya Atsumu, as your spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do, Atsumu,” Hinata states. They then share their first kiss as a newly-wedded couple. And the celebration begins.

After the photo-op, I decide to take a seat on one of the pews as everyone leaves the church to go to the reception venue.

It was plain fucking torture. To stand there, at the altar, with him in the presence, just not in front of him, to watch them be happy, to watch him fly away toward a different direction, to watch him go with Hinata. It wasn’t fair. It was not fair at all. 

_How come I despise the joy of others all because I can’t find the sense of joy within me to empathize with them?_

_Why can’t he be mine instead?_

_Why can’t he look at me the way he looks at you, Shoyou? Why did he love you more than he ever loved me? But he deserves you. He deserves every bit of you, Shoyou. You bring the happiness he needs. Keep the warmth the cold winter lacks. Keep it strong, keep it real. Love him. Love him more for me. Love him more for me, Shoyou. I’ll let you have him, just take care of him, he deserves everything and all goodness the world could give._

**_Just please love him for me._ **

“Kiyoomi-san,” Shugo calls out from behind the pews I was sitting on. I look around to see that there was no one in the church any longer just me and my former captain.

“Let it out,”

I started to cough once again uncontrollably, I had been holding out my coughs for too long this time. I learned how to keep the petals from choking me to a certain amount of time. I think I overdid it today. I feel as if there was something inside of my throat, something other than petals. Something bigger than just petals. It was big enough to slowly take the air away from my lungs that was desperately clinging to my body. 

Shugo pats my back with a certain force after hearing my choking noises and after a while, out comes a small Hybrid Tea Rose flower. A rose that starts as white but as it spirals out from the center, its petals start to have a gradient color of white to red. A complete flower.

_A flower came out of my throat._

_My lungs._

_A flower of blood came out of my heart._

Red.

All of a sudden, everything was red.

_______

**Twenty-three hours before the present**

“You, poor little thin—,” Bokuto sighs quietly, only to be heard by both Akaashi and Sakusa. Akaashi then hits Bokuto on the nape before he could finish the sentence and apologizes what the idiot owl just said. Sakusa just raised his hand in approval and weakly glared at Bokuto who was trying to recover from the surprise attack Akaashi gave him. The editor then drags his best friend out of the room for some scolding.

Hatred, all he could feel was hatred. Those were the words Sakusa hated. He hated pity. He feels like it's just forced out of people’s mouth, not sincere in any way. He hated it ever since he was a kid. He hated the fact that he felt exactly like the words he despised. He never thought getting into the MSBY Black Jackals worsened his hatred over the saying.

Sakusa starts to feel drowsy and flutters his eyes down to slumber with the window with a very cloudy view being the last thing he sees before taking a nap.

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**Twelve hours before the present**

The two come back inside the room, with Bokuto on a ninety-degree bow, apologizing for his careless words. Sakusa then waves off the traditional bow Bokuto was doing, the horned owl then smiles and fishes for something in his pocket. It was a card.

“I wanted you to have this, it’s a thank you gift for being in the team,” Bokuto explains, he gives the card to Sakusa. It was a photo card of all the members together, one last time. In their varsity uniforms in their last game. Happy. Smiling. Laughing. For one last time.

Sakusa flips the card to see a message; ‘Thank you for the past years -Bo-kun’

“… thma-anks…” Sakusa croaks out with a small smile. Bokuto’s mood lightens up and he starts jumping around and blabbing again. Sakusa and Akaashi sigh, another session of calming him down once again.

________

**Present**

Akaashi takes a rest and looks out the window. He sees the first snowflakes of the year landing softly on the ground. He smiles, he points it out to Bokuto, who becomes a child in the room for the quadrillionth time today.

Sakusa also sees the snow and smiles. He got to see the snow again. He then visibly shivers, the blanket provided by the hospital has suddenly gone thinner and the room is suddenly colder.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi gathers the attention of the kid and points at the quivering Kiyoomi. Bokuto takes the initiative to lower down the temperature of the air conditioner unit in the room. Sakusa is the palest as he has ever been, he looks like he hasn’t slept at all. He’s now thin due to the type and amount of things he’s been consuming

All of a sudden, Kiyoomi starts to cough harshly once again. Both Bokuto and Akaashi aid to his need and tries to help him get the petals out by patting his back. He then coughs out another Hybrid Tea Rose. He merely places it on the table and just as Bokuto was about to take it to throw it. Sakusa holds his hand, signaling a no. He didn’t care about the germs anymore. He observes the flower and all its beauty. The germaphobe sees that the color of the petals only changed at it went to the edges of the petal, he never took the time to appreciate the flower and all its simplicity. The flower was indeed beautiful. 

“Nap,” was all he said, and the best friends nod and start to pack up their things before leaving. He was already asleep when they left.

He needed the rest.

_________

I loved I loved

_Omi-Omi! Omi-kun!_

And I loved And I loved

_I like you, Sho-chan.I like you too, Tsum-Tsum._

And I lost you And I lost you

_I do, ShoyouI do, Atsumu_

I loved

_Please be me…_

And I loved

_Keep being his sun,_

And I lost you

_Love him for me._

**_And it hurt like hell._ **

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Blood red

Seeing you with him hurts.

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Burgundy

But he makes you happy.

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Carmine

I’ll live with that.

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Fire Brick

I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you.

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Venetian Red

You were too far.

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Tea Rose

Life’s like this huh?

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Pink

I love you.

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White

**_ Love him for me. _ **

.

It was about time the snow fell to the ground.


End file.
